I write this on the first day of the end of the NHS which comes despite the cries of pretty much every professional health-care body, a public petition that passed the 'will be discussed in parliament' (and then wasn't), legal challenges to let us poor dumb voters know that a proper risk assessment was actually done and a general feeling that we are being screwed over.
I can list the ways in which the public of England have been screwed over, at some point in the future I'll start talking about how we in Newham are already feeling the effects of the changes - and I don't think it's a spoiler to say that it's not leading to better patient care.
While I am angry that all this is being done in the cause of ideology, and that the Liberal Democrats are playing the part of a puppy rolling over hoping for it's belly to be scratched by Cameron, examining my feelings it is something else that is raising my blood pressure.
No, it's frustration. It's the feeling that no matter what we do, no matter how much we shout, no matter how many petitions, no matter how many MPs we write to that nothing will change. The government has it's fingers in their ears shouting 'Lalala - we can't hear you'.
It's the fact that the media would rather cover sports than the fate of the NHS. Take for example the recent peaceful protest where armed and riot police were in attendance kettling protestors. There was little to no coverage in the mainstream media about it.
This is the root of my anger - that there seems to be no way of fighting back against these unwanted changes.
I wish I were an organiser, I wish I have the knowledge and the skill to muster a group of people to help fight this. Instead I have two ideas - but no skill to make them happen.
First - the Risk register that the government is trying to hide should be published - and if this means a brave soul who has the register manages to leak it then so be it. Let it into the public domain so that it might be looked at fully by everyone - only then will I not believe that this whole act is driven by ideology.
Secondly - For every MP that voted for this bill I would have a group of smart and motivated people look into that person's conduct. Expose every dodgy deal, all the MPs who have a stake in private medical companies, every campaign contribution. Not doing anything illegal - but showing every bit of corruption until finally it reaches a critical mass and there is no option but for that MP to resign (or be fired)*.
I'm one of those horribly idealistic people who thinks that if enough people see the truth then the world can change.
Stupid, I know, but it might be worth a try.
*And once we've done it to those who voted for the bill, we can do it to every other MP - might keep them a bit more honest...